Bryan Baise is a beloved professor at Boyce College, soon-to-be PhD in philosophy, husband to Danielle and father of three, and my friend and office neighbor. When I was in Student Life, students talked constantly about his classes, and I always found him deeply compassionate and wise when we worked together to help students who were struggling. Even though I often walk next door to ask him questions about philosophy, apologetics, and worldview, I know he’s much more than a bright young philosophy prof (though he is that, to our great benefit).
This morning Bryan shared some extended reflections on Twitter that I found powerful enough to ask if I could share them here. He and Danielle were gracious to oblige.
By Bryan Baise
1. Five years ago this morning my wife was being prepped for surgery after a second miscarriage. We would experience one more before Collin.
2. Lot of feelings were swirling around during that season. What I remember most is watching, every single day, my wife’s faith strengthened.
3. There were days I was so angry and confused I would come home and say (basically), “I need you to believe for both of us today. I can’t.”
4. She did and often. I leaned on her and by extension, watching God steady her in the midst of that suffering anchored me.
5. We realized we were pregnant with Collin and it was the most emotionally difficult 12-13 weeks of my life. She was rock solid.
6. This doesn’t seem hyperbolic to me when I say that she showed me what it looks like to trust Christ in really difficult trials.
7. I lean on her when I’m weak, more often that I care to admit. Not in a Hallmark card sentimentalist manner. But feet to the ground reality.
8. She continued to tell me over and over and over, “He withholds no good thing from us.” That steadied her. It now steadies me.
9. All that to say I was a wreck about this time five years ago. I look at life through a different lens now because she *showed* me how.
10. So when I finished my dissertation and wrote the acknowledgements, the section dedicated to my wife was written through some dang ugly cries.
11. The last sentence I wrote in my dissertation: “He withholds no good thing from us.” And I lost it.
12. Not because I’d finished a project that took every part of my humanity to finish (it did) or because I didn’t think I would finish (I didn’t).
13. But because that line saved me from the callous anger and frustration that can so easily (and understandably) arise from personal suffering.
14. That line encapsulates the last five years of my life, in so many different ways. It’s only because of my wife that I write and say this today.
15. He withholds no good thing from us.