Desperation and Dependance: A Wonderful and Frightening Rhythm

Just finished a large paper on the Sabbath about an hour ago.  God gave much strength throughout the process, especially here at the end.  Still have about 4 hours of Hebrew homework to do before seminary classes are completely done for the summer, both class and homework.  It is hard to believe that this part of the summer is almost done.  So much learned.  I don’t quite know how to make God’s faithfulness to me throughout the last months of constant seminary work look as beautiful as it is, which was my purpose for posting…

But suffice it to say that I think that I am often lulled to sleep by the constant rhythm of need and provision.  I need… God provides… I need….. God provides….. I need………. God provides………. God provides………………. provides………………..zzzzz………

I think that’s why I need the Lord to jar me awake with a massive need, and to make me shout for joy because of a great deliverance.  In between those “massive” and “great” times, may I see the small ones so much more clearly.

For now, although it’s late and I’m tired, joy is my strength, the Lord is my shepherd, gratitude fills my heart, and “remember” is my watchword.  And thoughts of my eternal Sabbath rest in Christ will drive away anxious thoughts as I pillow my head, as God is gracious.  Nothing profound tonight.  Just a tired, content joy that’s droopy (because it’s 2 am) but alive (because I have Jesus).  So alive.


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