Social media didn’t exist when the book of Proverbs was first published. But folly and wisdom did. Here are twelve proverbs, reformatted for our social media age.

1. Joining a stranger’s Facebook argument is like grabbing a stray dog by the ears (26:17).

2. Where there are many comments, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his thumbs is wise (10:19).

3. Don’t answer a troll with trolling, lest you be like him (26:4).

4. The Instagram life is deceitful, and custom selfies are vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (31:30).

5. As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools return to a Twitter war (26:11).

6. A keyboard warrior is wiser in his own eyes than seven scholars who answer with discretion (26:17).

7. Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is the one who shares his one partisan news source and says, “THIS” (26:18–19).

8. Let someone else praise you, and not your own tweet, a stranger, and not your own retweet (27:2).

9. There are three things that are never satisfied—no, four that never say, “Enough!”: the grave, the blazing fire, the viral video, and your follower count (30:15–16).

10. As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed—and his phone (26:14).

11. Fools publicize their annoyance at once, but the prudent know that someone on the internet is always wrong (12:16).

12. Wisdom cries aloud in the street, but everyone is watching a cat video (1:20).