I won’t be writing as much as normal (at least not here) over the next few days if not the next few weeks. I don’t assume that anyone cares about my presence or absence within the blogging world, but I think it’s fair to let you know. We leave in sixteen days to go get Judah (March 31) and there’s a lot to do between now and then — mainly seminary work that’s been pushed forward by the trip and student leadership interviews (and decisions) from March 19-30. Not to mention preparing for the trip, preparing to be a dad, and preparing to bring a little round boy into our home.
Right now the college is on Spring Break, and although I still have seminary classes (Seminar in Soteriology, Seminar in Eschatology, and Charismatic Theology), I have a lot more time than normal to study. And I need it, with two big projects to complete before we leave for Uganda: (1) a paper/presentation on N. T. Wright’s view of justification and (2) a research presentation on the characteristics and timing of the biblical resurrections and their place in the chronology of eschatology. I’m glad that both of these are very simple, straightforward issues.
If you would be so kind, I would appreciate your prayers. Studying all day every day gets wearisome (and time will be rare after Spring Break), especially when you’re wrestling with Scripture and scholarship and wanting to get it right. There are so many views out there on every issue imaginable. It gets overwhelming and often discouraging. I look forward to the day when there are no more questions, or at least no more arguments. But until then, I wrestle.
I also want to be a good father and I fear that I won’t be. I assume that every father feels this way before the fact, but that makes it no less intense. There is a strange composite feeling of joy and caution as I prepare to meet my son for the first time. A lot of dynamics go into it, but the simple cry of my heart is to love and cherish Judah and to raise him well for the Lord’s sake. I want him to know what it means to be cared for by the Father, and that is a staggering calling. I want to rejoice over Judah and tremble over my responsibility, and at the end of the day, be the man I ought to be.
There are too many other people and situations that are more worth praying for than me right now, and I realize this every time I go to pray for those in my life whose trials and needs and requests I’m aware of, but if you might include me when you go before the Lord throughout the day, I will trust that the Lord will look graciously upon my small life and labor and will give me needed strength and daily grace to press forward. Thanks — may the Lord help us grasp the heights of His plan for us (Keith Getty, “Speak, O Lord”).